a long over-due reflection

Recently, I was reflecting a lot about my time serving in Publication Team in our church. The team produces design, graphics, and images for the church, ranging from the web advertisement to the baptism certificates. I served with the team for three and half year, and I stepped down last year May. I've grown to love the team. I really did, and I still have utmost respect for those serving in the team right now because I understand what it takes to design a single web-ad.

I joined the team my freshman year because of my life group back then. I knew how to play with Photoshop a bit, but I had absolutely no clue what I had signed up for. I recalled the very first meeting. I was clueless, and people were awkward.

Although I enjoyed my experience with the pubs team very much, (I would do it all over again) I have to say there were many sleepless nights, painful brainstorming sessions, and pathetic drafts that were rejected many many many many many many many many many many many many many times. Some of my most desperate prayers were lifted up during the final hour of the project. It feels like finding a restroom in the middle of nowhere, and your bladder is about to explode.

Going through all these with the team was pretty fun. You develop camaraderie with them. You sympathize with them. You cry with them, and you laugh together recollecting good times and bad times. And the design process itself is a team work. There is a constant exchange of feedbacks and thoughts. I can testify I would not have completed half of my work if there hadn't been a healthy does of feedback I received. God has blessed me with few solid friends serving along with them.

I sporadically receive updates from the team members here and there, and my current roommate Jerry is still serving on the team. Every time, I heard about the pubs team. I couldn't resist the sudden burst of desire to be part of it. I want to be creative again. I want to serve with familiar faces. Yes, I sometimes miss all-nighter sitting in front of computer torturing myself.

But I have no artistic talent. I'm not writing this to be humble or anything. I have no artistic talent...nada. My drawing rarely turns something other than stick figures. When asked to draw something, I usually end up drawing stick figures. For me, the lack of artistic gift was very evident throughout my time in PUBS. My ability to crank out graphic designs eventually fade out, and I had to relegate myself to be a moral support of the team.

I cannot believe that I survive three and a half year in Pubs team, where I had to make somewhat esthetically-pleasing graphics. And looking back some of my work, it baffles me. Some good...some bad...some really bad that the team had to intervene...and some that I attribute to God's miraculous intervention.

bad...required a healthy dose of team's intervention.

bad...elicited an unhealthy dose of team's intervention + rebuke.

God's miraculous intervention no. 1

God's miraculous intervention no. 2

God's miraculous intervention no. 3

(the best thing happened to me till I get married)

I learned how to serve through this team. I HAD to learn that it is not about my personal preference. It is not about how gifted I am. It is not about what my software proficiency. It is not about building portfolio or resume. It is all about relationship.