The Black Friday

So my Life Group planned a trip to the outlet mall for black Friday.
After the church thanksgiving dinner, twenty some people were mobilized to go shop.
Everyone was so eager to find amazing deals, but I couldn't help feeling lethargic about it.

I hate shopping with passion...it is one of those necessary evil. Frankly, I do have a hard time understanding people enjoy spending money. Isn't spending money painful? I guess people live on different budgets and spending a couple hundred dollars (or even thousands of dollars) does not make real difference in their life.

Putting aside my aversion to shopping, I decided to experience the full-fledged-black Friday-shopping extravaganza. As we approached the mall around midnight, we encountered a two-mile-long car queue to exit on the highway. It was definitely an eye-popping scene.

I would say the actual shopping experience was less than pleasant because of a super long queue and a ridiculous-packed crowd, but observing people was quite amusing and thought-provoking.

I'm sure nobody wants to wait 40~50 minute to buy something. (I waited 50 min. to buy one hoodie.) I saw people being creative to cut the waiting time. In a group, one person started waiting in line as soon as they entered the store. Everyone else ran around to get their items. When they are all done, the person in line moved significantly forward in the queue. So the person who has been waiting paid for everyone, and later the group paid one another. I thought it was pretty clever.

And of course, there were people cutting lines. When I was three or four people away from the counter, this Chinese girl appeared out of nowhere. She stood by me as if she knew me. I was appalled at her blatant inconsideration and couldn't help but staring her with some level of curiosity and contempt. Not only she was cutting line, but she was also using her ethnicity to leverage her unjust act.

I'm sure she knew she was doing something wrong. She seemed very uncomfortable as I gazed upon her thick-skinned face. She fidgeted a lot and seemed extremely anxious as if she was fearing someone was about to call her out. She looked pretty miserable pounded by anxiety, discomfort, stress, shame, and guilt. And I wondered whether I look like that when I sin against God.

People becomes pretty ugly when they sin, and I am no exception to this. I do get very ugly when I sin. I cover up facts and put up a persona that does not exist. My conscience cries out for a true repentance with an obedient heart, yet I silenced the outcry of my heart.

What I saw in that girl was a gloomy,sordid, yet accurate picture of myself...a recalcitrant, belligerent, and stiff-necked soul subduing the conscience. I hope I would learn to repent every time I sin.

p.s - I ran into another guy who got caught shoplifting. He had to plead his case to policy officers in front of his wife. It was one ugly scene.